Fighting doubts

I’ve got a confession to make. I forced myself not to check the blog for a whole week. You know, giving it time to settle in, take root. I felt a bit nervous typing in the address, like a hostess expecting a plethora of unknown guests in my humble abode. I’ve imagined the numbers quite well. I seem to remember there were a few zeros on the end.

Guess what? It’s officially a no-show. Oh well, I should have known. Throwing out a small blog into the digital ocean that is internet is like printing a million books and putting them into a BookShack Inc, Desert Island.

The programmer in me did suggest putting out a few (a lot) references out there, but that reminded me of an angler who’s in it for the sport, but instead of taking fishing tackle, he takes a few sticks of dynamite.

I’m keeping this blog to track my progress and I’m sure I’ll find friends, like-minded people and casual visitors without having to cast out nets.

So, this is about writing a novel. Like in any tale of heroic quest, there are monsters that rear their ugly heads trying to veer you off your course. Mine are with me as I type. Mostly, it’s lack of confidence, followed closely by doubt, with Surely-I’ll-never-be-able-to-do-it in a close third.

‘You’re not a native English speaker. You’ve been using this language for less than ten years. You have no literary education. How dare you think you can write a novel?!’

‘Uhm…’ gotta fight the monsters, ‘Well, I can give it a go. And, I can do the best I can. Surely that’s good enough. After all, I am doing this for myself and my parents, and it’s fun. You can’t beat fun!’

That’ll keep them quiet for a while.

Still, it’s an interesting question, which, I’m beginning to see, lots of new authors face. Does English have to be your first language? Do you have to have a formal literary education to tell a tale? I hope not. As long as you have something good to say and a good way of saying it, people will want to listen. I know I would. Would you?

Let me introduce myself

I am a professional programmer living and working in London.

Some of my earliest memories are not really mine. They belong to a little girl, whose quests and adventures used to put me to sleep… or at least get me in bed and on my best behavior. The girl – my parents never told me her name, but still I was pretty sure who she was – wasn’t perfect and that calmed me, but she was brave and strong, and she rose up to her challenges, no matter whether they involved slaying a dragon or two, or putting away her toys. I learned a lot from her, which, I guess, was exactly the point.

At an early age I got involved with computers. I studied hard and jumped few grades, finishing school at the age of fifteen. My next step was easy. I went to study in the country I loved the most. Great Britain. I knew exactly how great it would be; after all, I daydreamed it all during my last year at school. My daydreams turned out somewhat inaccurate: my knowledge of English was miles away from conversational, studying was hard and I ached for parents every day. But, as my bedtime heroine, I tried to rise up to the challenge. I’ve finished University at eighteen, became a software developer with a great company and made Britain my home. I still miss my parents though.

I always liked to write. Well, imagine first, then write it down sometimes. Somewhere along the line, while I was in Uni, I started writing all the time for my parents. Our roles reversed. I was embarrassed to admit that my real experience wasn’t a fairy tale I’d expected, so I wrote short stories for them. Those I could make fun and those I could control. Besides, it was a great way to teach them language that I fell in love with. Later, when I got a job, writing time became scarce so I developed a software program where I could enter my ideas, observations, quotes of the day. When enough data is available, the software provides a rough draft of a short story, which I polish and send to my parents. This is how I got an idea to write a full-length novel. I’ve got a title now and a plot that my program helped to formulate. I’ll try to write it and I hope it will be interesting enough to be read. This blog is a diary to track my progress and an incentive to make sure I don’t give up.